ooof. gotta get it right no matter what. it's a personal thing. i need to get through it, look at it and know that I feel it is right. no getting lazy. no letting things slide. it's about "I am good with this."
Kicking your ass back into the right gear, eh? Here's to the eternal, self-motivated, serialized creativity cycle! Reminds me a bit of a quote from Norwegian composer Knut Avenstroup Haugen.
(Incoming wall of text. Sorry!)
"People who say they cannot work unless they are inspired are very unprofessional and probably inexperienced, because inspiration comes from hard work -- from getting up early every morning and working hard even though you don't feel like it. If one day doesn't lead to much, the next day will be based upon your experiences from the day before and open up to new possibilities not accessible without having tried everything else first. To miss the target is necessary to adjust your aim so you will eventually be able to hit the bullseye."
...and then maaaaybe mix that with the factory floor motto of one of my father's most common metal processing plant clients: "DO IT RIGHT THE FIRST TIME, EVERY TIME, SAFELY."
I've watched the panel now and it was awesome. Indeed, it's a bit sad you didn't get asked so many questions, but somewhere I think you might even be okay with not standing in the spotlight too much... I don't know, you just seem like that type, but maybe I'm wrong. Anyway, you would've been better suited at the music panel than this other panel; the latter was more of a VA panel than anything.
But nonetheless, you were great there. First time I got to see you on video, in fact. Interesting to hear from you, though I actually didn't get to learn that much new. Most of what was said was stuff you already revealed here on deviantArt. Except for the fan wanting to chain you up in their basement; that was new. Yikes!
In any case, you were great in the moments you were allowed to talk/answer questions, so there's no reason to be nervous if there ever will be a next time. I even read some comments on Youtube, and they said they loved you.
Well, you do have certain rituals to wind down, and that's good. Sadly, your job puts a lot of strain on you, and there's not much you can do to that... So it's good to keep doing these rituals so you won't stress out.
And I am good. I've spent the past three days going through my backlog that accumulated through my time in Portugal, so I'm kind of braindead from that, but otherwise I'm good. I've also found a recording of the panel you appeared in, so I'm going to watch that soon.
It's a tough call. People who have had amazing successes in life and accomplished amazing things are often described as incredibly difficult to get along with.
I try to have a gauge of the worth of the endeavor - like I have a friend who is totally OCD and when she, say, needs to buy a new coffee pot, she will spend days agonizing over which one, then look for the best price, then order three of them, return two...she may get the best pot at the right price, but meanwhile she drives everyone around her crazy and spends an inordinate amount of time doing something that I would do in five minutes and get the approximate same result.
Meanwhile, because she spent so much time doing something frivolous, more important things are left undone or go late.